BOOK REVIEW: Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent and Barbara Hughes

Since we are in Ephesians 5-6 in our CRC sermon schedule, I thought we would take a look at two books, one related to marriage, which we did last week (which you can access here), the other a book on the family. Which is the topic of today.

In this book, Kent and Barbara Hughes offer a thoughtful, practical, and biblically grounded roadmap for cultivating gospel-centred family life. The book demonstrates their commitment to see families built upon the Scriptures, to recognize the covenantal responsibilities that exist within the family, as well as the necessity and centrality of the gospel in family discipleship. This book is quite practical, but its grounding is solidly biblical. The book serves as both a manual and a source of encouragement for Christian parents who desire to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

At this point, I need to offer a caveat. I recommend this book to all parents who seek to build a godly family. Yet I do not advocate for all of their practical recommendations in the book. The book needs to be read evaluatively as you seek to implement those things that would work for your family and jettison those things that will not. What this book is good at doing is stimulating thought and ideas for how each of us should operate within our own unique family situation.

Let’s get back to the review.

The book is structured topically, with each chapter addressing a particular area of family life that demands intentional discipline. The title’s emphasis on “discipline” is not a reference to punitive discipline but formative discipline—it refers to spiritual habits, patterns, and commitments that shape a family into a God-glorifying family. Their approach is not theoretical but experiential, offering many stories and recommendations from their own parenting journey, having raised four children while serving in pastoral ministry.

The opening chapters set the theological tone. The Hugheses stress that a godly family does not arise by accident. It requires grace-driven effort, faithful teaching, and spiritual intentionality. In a culture of convenience and distraction, families must fight against entropy by cultivating holy habits. “Families don’t drift toward godliness,” Kent writes. “They drift toward compromise and confusion.” This foundational insight reminds us that the formative power of habits within the family has long-term spiritual benefits for all involved. The parents’ God-ordained role in shaping the next generation will set the tone not only for the future families of their children but also for the church and the world.

There is not the time to go through all of the chapters of this book (there are 10 plus a number of appendices), but I do want to mention a few general points of emphasis from the book

The section on “Spirituality” deals with family worship and offers some interesting perspectives and practical suggestions. Here the Hugheses advocate for daily times of Bible reading, singing, prayer, and spiritual conversation—practices that encourage a view of the family as a “little church.” It is evident that traditional Reformed catechesis lies behind their perspective. As is typical of the book, practical tips abound: keep it brief, be consistent, involve the children, and adjust what you do based on the age of your kids. What’s striking, and needed, is not the novelty of the advice they provide but the call to steadfastness—the call to just keep going on the right path in the right way. As the authors emphasize, these rhythms, over time, produce fruit not always immediately visible but deeply enduring.

Discipline in communication is another very helpful focus. The Hugheses devote time to discussing how families can cultivate a culture of grace and truth in their speech—something particularly needed in homes where careless or cutting words can do significant damage, not only in the moment but for a long time afterward. Drawing from Ephesians and Proverbs, they encourage parents to model repentance, listen attentively, and speak in ways that build up rather than tear down. Their section on “forgiveness as a lifestyle” underscores a gospel-centred dynamic that every godly household should embody.

The book also addresses hospitality and outreach. In an age of isolation, the Hugheses call families to open their homes as centres of ministry. This reflects a distinctly Reformed understanding of vocation and stewardship—every Christian family exists not merely for its own sake, but as an instrument of God’s kingdom. From hosting missionaries to welcoming the lonely, the Hugheses offer a vision of family life that is missional without being programmatic.

In their treatment of discipline and correction, the Hugheses approach the subject with both seriousness and tenderness. Drawing from Proverbs, Hebrews 12, and their own experience, they argue that loving correction is necessary for forming character. They are careful to stress the need for self-control, prayer, and relational closeness in discipline. They emphasize that the parent needs to be primarily concerned for the child’s heart, not merely their behaviour—a principle that recognizes that each child is a sinner in need of saving grace and continued sanctifying grace in order to become the person God desires them to be.

One of the strengths of the book that undergirds everything is the reminder that each parent must be concerned for their own spiritual formation. The “disciplines of a godly family” cannot be imposed from a vacuum. Parents must be pursuing Christ themselves—reading Scripture, praying, participating in church life, and growing in sanctification—in order to be truly godly parents. The authors do not present an idealized picture of parenting but remind us that parenting is hard, and unless we are seeking our own sanctification as parents, we will never be able to perform the daunting task of raising kids God’s way.

Disciplines of a Godly Family is rich in biblical wisdom. Its pastoral tone, experiential authenticity, and Christ-centred advice make it a valuable resource for any Christian family seeking to live out their covenant responsibilities with joy and purpose. In an age where family life is often fragmented and reactive, the Hugheses offer a refreshing vision—that by God’s grace, families can grow in love and spiritual vitality—not by accident, but through purposeful discipline.

Soli Deo Gloria